Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Murphy's diktat for travel

At the end of long nights (and days) of frantic activity in preparation for the meetings that one needs to travel for, I have a flight to catch, with tickets waitlisted, emmigration check not cleared, visa unobtained and an absconding travel agent who's mobile treats me to a remix version of a song called "Pardesiya". Most Charming.
I have visions of the airplane getting ready to take off and me standing at the airport, while the travel agent does a slow motion sprint holding my passport in one hand and tickets in the other...and like the baton of a relay...hands me the entire sheaf of travel documents...so I can (in slow motion) sprint to the counter.....and hand it over...and then sprint (again in slow motion) to board the aircraft just as the doors are closing (this has alternate shots of me sprinting...door inching shut ...me sprinting...door inching ...me sprinting...door inching ...me sprinting...door inching ...you get the idea?) and in true hindi movie style...all the passengers (including one turban clad sardar Gulluji, his wife Pappi and their top-knot turbanned children harvinder and gurinder, swami with white streaks on his forehead wearing white kurta and veshti, bannerjee in soda bottle glasses and his garrulous wife with shakha-pola bangles, one safari-suit-clad-gold-chain-jangling-pan-chewing-cell phone using Pandeyji, 1 NRI, 1 model, the cabin crew in blue outfits and a blur of other faces) applaud as I sink into my seat...
However, in keeping with Murphy's laws, I have a middle seat & the seat next to me is not occupied by that one person who I have always loved and never told...or by articulate individual closer to my age, who I strike a conversation with, & which promises to be the beginning of greater things to come....instead I have large grumpy 55yr old vegetarian man on one side (who keeps looking disgusted at my non-veg meal) and on the other side - smelly snoring aunty who keeps nodding off on my shoulder and I have to keep shaking her oily head off mercilessly.And instead of bliss on my face, I shall have a look of utter disgust and a sincere amazement on why I didnt just cease and desist from making this damn trip.

Afterthought: Come to think of it, I havent met anyonewho has had a wonderful air trip.

4 Comments:

Blogger Heh Heh said...

i've had a couple of long distance flights where i found some good company, actually.

7/13/2005 12:38 PM  
Blogger Progga said...

Quick heads-up on my flight. Contrary to expectations, there weren't Indian kids peing in the aisles. But there was elderly Gujju couple next to me (sweet enough, thanks gods) and awful couple+kid behind. Kid kept punching and kicking my chair, until eventually he actually extended foot between my seat and the window, bringing it to a rest on my armrest, at which point I drove the tip of a ball-point pen into his foot.
Talk about catharsis!

7/14/2005 1:04 AM  
Blogger Mint Chutney said...

I've had some great trips however I was alone in my row each time.

7/17/2005 5:59 AM  
Blogger Itineranting said...

FG, MintC - some people have all the luck - good company or an empty row!

P, I think its a curse. kicking kid in the seat behind.I get that too.

7/18/2005 9:34 PM  

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